VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I look better un-naked...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
