Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
