Bisexual people are plain selfish.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
