Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
