she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
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