exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
