Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
