he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
