Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Everyone says I win the strip club
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
