True but thats because hes a fetus.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
