Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
