new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
The uberlube is also flammable
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
