if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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