I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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