my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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