people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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