I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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