There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
