the condom got lost in my hair
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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