For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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