I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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