if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize