I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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