You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
