i would punch a child for taco bell
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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