I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
