We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
