yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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