No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
