he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I would fuck him just for his dog
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize