ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
