I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
