Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
