You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize