Apparently you make a good broom.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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