just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
