So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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