Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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