Who wears a wallet chain?!
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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