Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
