At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
