this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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