somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
