I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize