in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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