just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
