Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
