Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
