so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
