You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
time to smoke my breakfast
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
