Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
