My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize