some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
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