Yo dont text me then not text me
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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