She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
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I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
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The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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