I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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