the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
