i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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