They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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