redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
