Are we in a gay sports bar?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
