She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
