Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize