So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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