I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
