I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
