Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
