just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
