Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
