Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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