i permit you to call me
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
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